Tag Archives: Hell

World Vision is sending us all to Hell!

World Vision is trying to send us all to hell.

If you don’t know what I am talking about, you haven’t been on the internet in the last 24 hours.

World Vision announced that they are going to start forcing African kids to marry into same-sex relationships, if not they will take away all their food. Seriously! Well… that is what these guys at the Gospel Coalition seemed to be saying…

Anyways, we all know that this is a huge problem. World Vision plans to employ only gay people so that they can transmit ‘gayness’ to as many Third World children as possible.

173720_20110408_174319_OCPNow, I have long been suspicious of World Vision. All their commercials and print ads have pictures of kids on them that I can only assume are not ‘Christian’. Most of those kids come from the Kenyan bush right? Isn’t that where Obama came from? We all know what that means! It only makes sense that he is pushing this same-sex marriage agenda to make us all gay. I didn’t vote for a gay Kenyan to be my president, and that’s not only because I am Canadian. But with World Vision now burning bibles (according to Franklin Graham) and feeding non-Christian children, they are bringing together two threats to the United States of Evangelicalism to make a mega threat –

Gay Terrorists!!!

But seriously, has anyone been checking to see what the faith statements of these sponsor kids are? I want to see signed statements on websites so I can know if we really should be “sponsoring” their eternal salvation for only $1 a day. Do they believe in Predestination or Free Will? What if they are Roman Catholic marxists like the Pope? Has anyone actually checked to see if the schools they are attending aren’t Madrassas? What if those doctors that these “sponsor kids” see practice Sharia medicine? (The NSA has probably just put me on a watch list for all the flagable words I have in this post).

Now, you might be saying, “But Erik, you live in a country that allows same-sex marriage!” To which I respond, this is okay because we had a white christian Prime Minister who introduced that law. But more importantly, do we want less gay premarital sex? Because letting gay people get married is the best way to keep them from having lots of sex!

Still, you might be saying, “But Erik, you serve in a denomination that blesses same-sex marriages!” To which I respond,  I am not turning any African kids into gay terrorists!

imagesWorld Vision just might be the last organization that ever believed in the bible, besides the Gospel Coalition. And now, because of their gay employees, they are threatening us all with the eternal fires of hell. What if the hard-earned money that I am sending to evangelize African kids is used instead to feed them, give them medical care, and clean water? They could very well grow up to marry someone of the same gender, and that is against God’s word! What if some of the money I give to World Vision goes to pay some of the salary of a World Vision employee? A Gay Employee!?!?! Will that make ME gay?!?!

So, I say stop supporting World Vision and their Gay Terrorism agenda! Because we all know what Jesus said about that:
“Feed My Sheep” John 21:17
“Let the little children come to me” Matthew 19:14
“For I was hungry and you gave me food” Matthew 25:35
“I am the bread of life” John 6:35
“Give them something to eat” Matthew 14:16

Er, um… We all know what Paul said about that:
“If your enemies are hungry, feed them” Romans 12:20
“Bear one another’s burdens” Galatians 6:2
“When you come together to eat, wait for one another” 1 Corinthians 11:33

I mean… We all know what Leviticus said about that:
“Their flesh [Pigs] you shall not eat, and of their flesh you shall not touch.” Leviticus 11:8
“nor shall you put on a garment made of two different materials” Leviticus 19:19
“But anything in the seas or the streams that does not have fins and scales, of the swarming creatures in the waters and among all the other living creatures that are in the waters—they are detestable to you” Leviticus 11:10

Oh right, this is one!
“You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination” Leviticus 18:22

So… We need to stop supporting World Vision because of this obscure verse of Leviticus, even though we don’t follow most of the other rules in that book!

And because… Gay Terrorists!

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Disclaimer: If it wasn’t clear already, the above post is satire and sarcasm. I fully support World Vision’s choice to hire employees in same-sex marriages. To read more about LGBT rights in the Church check this out: Why I should have spoken up for LGBT rights in the Church

So what do you think about the World Vision News? What do you think of the reaction? Share in the comments, on the Facebook Page: The Millennial Pastor or on Twitter: @ParkerErik

 

 

 

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The Christian Horror Movie that will Win People to Jesus

So I have been listening to the Moonshine Jesus Podcast, with Mark Sandlin and David Henson. It is a basically half an hour of two ministers and bloggers talking pop-culture and theology over drinks. As many pastors know, this is what some of the best moments of seminary, and later on, what clergy conferences are all about. The podcast is great fun and worth a listen, you can find it on iTunes and here. In a recent episode Mark and David shared that there is a Christian Horror movie coming out called Final: The Rapture.

Now, I am not a big fan of Christian movies or Christian radio. I was subjected to far too much Touched by an Angel growing up, but I have to admit that the production quality of Christian music, TV and film has gone up dramatically since then. Recent movies like the Son of God or the Passion of the Christ, or even like Noah, show that the entertainment industry is investing in Christainment.

teaser-poster-final-the-raptureHowever, Christians themselves are also invested appealing to broader secular culture, and so we end up with movies, like Final: The Rapture, being made with the aim of appealing to a broader audience. The movie is being billed as a frightening story of what the end of the world will look like, full of violence, blood, death (no sex or swearing, of course). The producers themselves compare the movie to a Trojan Horse. They are hoping to bring people in with horror and send them out with the fear of Hell the love of Christ in the hearts.

If you watch the trailer, it is clear that this film is not top quality acting, writing, directing or production. But lots of horror movies aren’t these days and they do just fine at the box office.

The quality of the filmmaking isn’t really the issue.

Of course, it is absurd to try and trick people into “coming to Jesus” with a horror movie. Even with the poor filmmaking in mind, don’t spend too long thinking about how many times along the way there must have been opportunities for someone to point out to the producers that spending the money, time and effort on making such a film is ludicrous. It will hurt your brain to imagine that some poor schmuck in an editing room had to finally say, “Yes! This is it! The Christian horror movie that will bring people to Christ!” Don’t even start on all the actors, film crews, on-location personnel and more, who had to agree that this film was worth making.

The thing that really turns my brain inside-out is the motive to make this movie in the first place. It is a logical and theological fallacy that underpins this whole venture.

This movie might be billed by the producers as a bait and switch to bring people in with the horror and send them out with Jesus, but it isn’t. In fact, Jesus has little to do with it at all. The real aim is to bring people in with horror and send them out with Hell.

This is laughable at first thought, but there is something deeply troubling about this line of thinking. The bait and switch tactic is dishonest, but the real bait and switch tactic is terrifying and I can’t believe that Christians are still using this strategy. It appears that the producers of this movie are using Hell as a first ‘in’ to get people to believe in God. 

I don’t know if this is a conscious effort or some response to the New Atheism that fundamentalists seem to be fond of sparring with. However, trying to terrify people with Hell so much so that they open themselves to eternal damnation is cruel. But thinking that a fear of hell means an unconscious belief in eternal salvation? This is absurd!

Yet, as far as I can tell, this line of thinking exists. Fundamentalists seem to be saying that if we can get people to be afraid of Hell, then they will, by default, also believe in Jesus – maybe without even really knowing it. You can’t believe in Hell without then believing in God right?

This is the horrific part.

I don’t recall Jesus saying, faith the size of a mustard seed in Hell, will bring you into the Kingdom of God. I don’t recall Jesus telling us to go out and spread the Bad News of God’s wrath and damnation. I don’t recall Jesus giving Christians the ‘judgement and condemnation of God’ as an evangelism tool.

Most Christian music, TV and film verges on the hokey, even if the production value is getting better (especially in terms of music). And fine, if Christians need faith based pop culture – whatever. But if we think that we can trick people into heaven with an illogical, unscriptural fallacy?

Then we really have created a horror show. 

What do you think? Do Christians need their own pop culture? Does believing in Hell make people also Christians? Share in the comments, on Facebook: The Millennial Pastor or on Twitter: @ParkerErik